you ask you get told

well i guess i was asking for it, and i souldof know better,

though after Daniel having his "wild" dreams about a lady he works with, i asked him if he found her attractive or had a crush on her, and well yep he finds her attractive i guess tough who wouldn't find her attractive, i posted a photo of her on here, and yeah she really is.....

I guess it wouldn't hurt as bad, if it was any other night but last night, i gave him sex twice yesterday once in the afternoon and once right before he went to sleep, to wake up to him having one of "those" dreams.. kinda made me feel like crap that it wasn't good enough

Normally i am quite a vain person, though lately i feel horrible and unattractive and it doesn't help when my own husband doesn't even look at me that way any more, doesn't give me kisses or hugs or even tel me that i look lovely or pretty, though it quite happy to tel me i am getting fat

Am i over reacting to all of this?? or do i have a right to feel like i do? i really feel like if i told him to go and have sex with her that it is ok to that he would :( and that he would drop me like an egg on a hard floor :(, maybe it would be nice if he introduced me to her, so she could see and know just how i fee and stop egging it on i guess, or that i could tell her what she is doing to our marriage,

I honestly feel like getting a private investigator and see what he is doing where he is going and all of that, though i really shouldn't have to, Daniel should be able to tell me what is going on and how he feels with out hiding anything from me, if he was 100% honest with me maybe i wouldn't be feeling like this... or if he told me i was pretty every now and again that would be nice to

15 weeks

YAY i have made it to 15 weeks, only 9 more weeks until viability and only 25 more weeks until my due date

 things seem to be going so quickly, though i am glad, i don't want a pregnancy that is going to drag...


Things between Daniel and i are still not good, i honestly don't trust that there is nothing going on, the way he acts around other ladies, the things he says and does, like he flirts with them right in front of me, and it doesn't help that these ladies are VERY pretty as well and he does it all the time on facebook, I tel hm how i feel and i get the whole "your starting your paranoid shit" speech, makes me feel great, that i cant even talk to my own husband about anything... then h wonders why i don talk to him and why i put everything in my blog for, thoughi know he has me feeling worthless and horrible,
I feel like a skeleton, skin and bone, with a horrible mouth and a fat pregnancy belly, I dont feel pretty and defiantly dont feel pretty up against the other girls maybe its just my hormones maybe its something else i really dont know
Daniel carries his phone round everywhere with him, ts always on him and always going off, and as soon as it goes off he either walks outside to answer the txt or the phone cal or walks away from me, i ask "who is it" and he gets shity and doesnt really answer