16w1d

                                                             15w5d

                                                               16w1d



Well i had a Quick scan today to check if peanut was ok, due to the lack of movement and bad lower back pain, and pressure though peanut is fine has a heart rate of 156bpm and my cervix is now 35mm,  so even with the progesterone now, its kepingmy cervix long, there wasalso no funneling either sothats a realy good sign,
Im guessing i could feel peanut for over a day is because he/she is sitting right back low, like right up near my back, im guessing hence why  have so much lower back pain and pressure as well....

There was a huge debate thing on my facebook wall, about other ladies telling me to go p to the hospital ETC and get checked out and how i should be having steroid shot ra ra ra all that other bullshit, i dont really wan to go into FULL detail in why i did, though long story short, i have already been told "your baby is going o be born today and die" and i really didnt want to hear those words again, you can cal me selfish an a bad mother all you want though, words like that REALLY hurt at the best o times, let alone sitting in a cold, emergency room and getting told that again

I have my OB appointment on Tuesday, he is going to roll his yes at me and possibly have a go at me, im nearly 100% sure that my OB hates me... though there isnt much i can do about it but suck it up and deal with it.. then another scan on Friday, my big scan I'll be just over 17 weeks so hopefully i will be able to tell if peanut is a boy or girl, so i can stat giving it a name :) instead of just calling it peanut LOL...

Im not sure if i should tel people the sex of the baby, only because i remember the amount of crap i got last time when i found out Deacan was a boy, and i am REALLY not in the mood again for all that crap to start again, and either way people wont be happy and if they want a reason to bitch they will, though I am happy with either sex of the baby, a BOY would be great as i already have had 3 i have raised  2 and i know the boys will play great together, though a GIRL would be great to as i have never had a girl and  i want to do all the things that my mum never had done with me,

oh yeah here a list of my cervix measurements as well

13w1d 40mm
15w1d 31mm 

Progesterone pessaries started 200mg 1x a day
16w1d 35mm 


Any way that is it for now, i'll come back later and type, il try to have a VERY HAPPY blog post next time :)

14 weeks

Im 14 weeks today, its starting to go fast,
there is a max of 26 weeks to go i at least wanna go another 24 weeks,

im starting to get scared now though, as it is really starting to sink in, i am going to have 3 under 3!!!!!! how am i going to cope??? the boys get to me know, how am i going o go with 3???

Baby names

i need some hep picking out some uni sexed names, for peanut

dont really know any


Anyone know of some

So Scared

How am i not men to be scared?


I posted a thing about it on my FB just basically just saying that peanut was god, strong heartbeat though i had bleeding around y placenta


then a "so called" friend said this to me

"dont mean to scare you though that happen to me i lost my child at 16 weeks"

WTF!!!!! she know my history she KNOWS i lost my son from an  IC and a Placentral abruption.... you dont tell that to a mother!!!!!!!!

yum!!!!

I feel like pan cakes, with maple syrup with cream and peanut butter, and chocolate topping!!!!!!!!

13 weeks scan coming up

well on f\Friday the 8th July i have my NT scan for peanut, i'm really looking forward to it, i am hoping we are able to kinda see the gender of him/her, As much as i would love to have a girl (After having 3 boys) i think a boy would be easier...

Though as long as the heart is beating that is all that matters :)



Q, have you been for an early scan and found out the gender? if so how far along were you and was the gender prediction right?

Almost 3 1/2 years

its almost been 3 1/2 years since we said good bye to Bryce, i still get really teary eyed thinking about him and the what "ifs"  some days are really good like the pain is still there though its not hurting as much as it normally does. though there are still days where i would do anything i could to bring him back and hate myself  for not holding him that much, for not telling him every single day i carried him inside me,


Wow this must make me sound so selfish...  As i have two adorable little boys here at home with me, and another little peanut on the way, i do real love my boys i really do, though i guess i just wonder most days what it would  be like to have 3 little boys running around home with me