better run down with Jade

The doctors said i had 2 infections that caused her to be born, one was on my placenta (H.influenza) and the other one was in my waters some chrono thing (sorry dont remember the name or the spelling)

When Jade was born she didnt move much at all, or barely breathed, her first apgur was 4 then scored 2 lots of 8 after that,

Long story short Jade had a 2nd degree brain bleed, and now her 2 ventricles are now enlarged the doctors said it was blood clots,  she had seizures on friday full on convulsions, though not convulsions after that, they gave her anti seizure meds to help and i am guessing that it did, now she has been having abnormal brain activity, and every time that she has that, she has a brady, apnea and her resps all drop, everyone that she is having is taking more and more stimulation to get her out of it, and the recovery time is taking longer longer, she doesnt have them continuously though will have a row of them then another then another row of them, though she is starting to have more and more in each row,

The doctors did mention that the brain bleed can turn into brain damage as well, and that is fine DH and i will love her non the less, we jsut want to know if she does or not so we can give her the care that she needs and the support that she needs while being in the NICU and at home,

they have done 2 lumber punctures in 3 days the first one came back blood stained and the second one came back clear, all blood work now is fine no infection in that,   they have also sent of a soiled nappy and also a urine sample as well,

they done a chest xray when she was born and it showed that she had puemonia (sp)

Why?

Why do i feel like it is my fault that my baby girl was born early for? I know my body cant hold a pregnancy that long, though for once it wasn't my body rejecting the baby I had an infection, I am still stumped to "how" i got it, and the doctors wont say how either (I'm guessing that they don't know)

though my infection almost killed her :( they said that i had Haemophilus influenzae  that they found on placental swabs that they took
Its like the guilt all over again, I already hold guilt from loosing Bryce, and now with my body almost killing Jade so to speak of, it really upsets me, Was there anything i could of done to prevent this? should i have made the doctors listen to me more when i told them that something wasn't right?