Need to Scream

So i have been keeping this in for a while and things have just been building up so i just need to let them out, things might not be in order or make much sense though i just need to vent

the past 3 weeks have gone so fast, plus have also felt like a nightmare, between having Jade, moving house and just the general stuff, i am completely exhausted, I haven't had time for anything or any one, the boys have suffered big time and it breaks my heart :(

Im up at the hospital every day, from any where from 3 hours to 9 hours a day, sitting beside my little girl, plus doing her cares, feeding her and just letting her know that i am there, and talking with doctors to find out the plan of attack etc, I know it is a mothers job though it is very tiring to be honest and very draining,

I have been trying my hardest with the boys, though they have suffered as i have just been so tired, and so busy they haven't gotten as much attention as they have liked or i have liked though i do try to spend a bit of time with them, though its pretty hard to when i am at the hospital all the time or i am home trying to clean up or cook, or look after 3 adults, and 2 kids plus myself

I still haven't unpacked the whole house yet, our garage is still packed full of boxes, and there is stuff that we need in them though i just don't have the energy to unpack them, let alone know where things are going to go,

I feel like i am the maid around this house, As i seem to be the one who does the cleaning, Washing, Cooking, etc, i know the other do help out, though probably not as much as i would like, i guess its just the small stuff, like after i cook it would be nice if someone else packed the dishwasher, and put it on, or someone else decided to do the washing for me, i don't know i guess i am just complaining about nothing there, though i just feel like everyone's maid

Daniel is out of the house more than what he is in it, between work and him going out to have a life, is starting to get really annoying, as he is basically never home and the kids hardly get a chance to see him, so then again it makes it harder on me, like last night he went out for a "boys night" he went to the movies and the pub with his best mate, like dont get me wrong i dont mind him spending time with his best mate, as they have been friends ever since they were young, and he is going through relationship problems so Daniel is there to help, though it would be nice if Daniel offered to take me out for a change or spend some time with me, though no its ok he can go out have a life and leave the kids with me know all to well just how tired that i am, I would love to be able to go out and just have some time to myself with some friends, though between Being up at the hospital for jade (as no one else will sit p there with her), looking after the kids (when they are not in daycare), cleaning the house, and cooking oh and expressing, there is just not enough hours in the day,

My day starts at 4.30 every morning if not earlier, and doesn't end until 10.30pm if not later, I know i am just bitching about mother hood and its just a part of life though i really need to get this out, and it is stressing me out and i am at the point that i am about to scream,

On another note, i really don't know why Daniel is giving relationship advice, maybe he should take some of his own, though his own marriage is on the rocks, so maybe he should try and fix that first before trying to fix someone elses,

Maybe its just my hormones, maybe its just because i am so tired, though everything is just eating up at me and i just needed to vent, sorry for such the long post though just needed to get it out

though i guess Such Is Life, hey

Over It

I am so damn over it... things seem to be getting thrown at us left right and center its never ending....

Daniel and I have just over 3 weeks to move.. we have to be out of here by the 10th November whether we have a place or not... we have looked at quite a few, though the application form never gets put in on time, due to Daniel not really liking the place, and hoping that something better comes along.. or me being in the hospital and waiting for someone to bring the form up to me to fill in..

So on top of that i also received my car rego today that has to be paid for in the next couple of weeks ($304 for 6 months, or $583.60 for 12 months)
Plus a power bill that is now over due... We had someone here staying/living with us, that was meant to chip in and help pay for some of it as they were here for most of it though yeah haven't been able to get anything out of them o that (power bill was just over $400)



So on top of all this, my doctors have said that i need to remain stress free HA! yeah right, how can i be stress free with all of this going on????

Also i can go into labor any day so the anxiety of that is weighing don over the top of me as well... its honestly never ending isn't it.....

When it Rains it Pours

WOW talk about a stressful time,

Daniel and I worked it out and we have 5 weeks to be out of this house and into a new one, 5 weeks that's it, and it is so hard to find the right place, it needs to have 4 bedrooms, have a fully fenced back yard, i would like the kitchen to have a good amount of cupboard space, and cant be any more than $370 p/w
Daniel and i have found some that we like we are just waiting to hear back from the property managers to view the property,
I have never moved with the kids, last time that i moved Jason was still in hospital. so when we finally get a place i have told mum that i would like to move while the kids are in daycare, try to get as much as we can out and into the new place while te kids are out, as i can only imagine how hard it is to move with a 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 year old


Got the power bill the other day, bloody just over $400 and it is due tomorrow, i called the power company to ask for a payment plan, as i have been in hospital and it is to much to come up with all in one hit, tough do you think they would let me pay it off??  NO! I have to come up with $100 by tomorrow, then the $300+ in 2 weeks time, not to mention  all theotherbils that i have coming in

I know its just part and parcel with the real world, though why does everything have to come in at once,

I have rego due as well in a couple of weeks, that like $300+ as well  and it's not like i can put that one off. cos if i dont pay it i cant drive my car, and we use it to get the kids round and doctors etc!!!!!

Plus on top of all that i am still having contractions every day,  tough nothing tat is really regular or painful enough to have to go to the hospital, the doctors told me when they discharged me from hospital that i had to remain stress free, YEAH RIGHT!!! like that is going to happen, So i am scared that she can come any day like the doctors said though i am very grateful for every day that she is inside, though this waiting game is really doing my head in, I either want her to knock he crap off (false contractions etc) of just come out already (I WOULD PREFER HER TO STAY IN THOUGH)


Though yeah i guess that sums up the past couple of days, more than likely just a whole heap of randomness though also needed to vent,

Its been to long

Sorry it have been for ever since i last made a post, I have wanted to make a post  for a while though i go to sit down and write it and have a mind blank with what i want to say

First off i am now 25 weeks and 3 days gestation, it has been a fight to get this far though i am very grateful for it, I have just come home from hospital after spending 2 1/2 weeks on hospital bed rest due to PTL, the doctors didnt give Princess a good out come with saying that i was going to deliver any day, though i remembered what theysaid when i was in there with Deacan and he lasted 11 weeks,
I'm grateful foral te help and support that i have/ had while being in there with al the new firends thati made that i will always carry close to my heart, and from all the help from my family and all the prayers and positive thoughts that friends gave,

Both Deacan and Jason are going great, Both have grown so much, and both now have their own little personalities though i will go into that more in a separate post,


Daniel and i are house hunting at the moment as we need to be out of our hose by 10th November (our 4th wedding anniversary) Just trying to find something that suits us and is in our price rage is starting to be more difficult than i thought,

Sick,

Well yet again the kids are sick AGAIN!!!!!!

They only ever seem to be well for abut a week then are sick again....

The doctor came out Thursday night to check Deacan out listened to his chest looked in his ears and took his temp and said that he was ok, that his chest was clear, and to keep an eye on him for 24 to 48 hours,
So Friday came sent him to daycare
they gave me a call, to say they were really worried about him, Picked him up he was coughing full on, nose running same with eyes and they were red as well, called doctors again, he came out looked over Deacan again said his chest was still clear though he has an upper respiratory infection and put him on antibiotics, Saturday he was still the same nose is getting better though cough is getting worse, then today (Sunday) he is still the same, coughing less though when he coughs he coughs for longer!!!!!! and now he has the runs!!!! just to add something else in there with the mix

Called 13HEALTH and the lady said to get him into the Doctor  tomorrow morning, as his antibiotics may be to strong for him!!! though listening to him tonight i can see it will be a hospital night as the cough is one o the nastiest cough i have ever heard him have....

So thats all deacan


Jason isn't to bad, he has the normal teething stuff, plus now eczema his isn't to bad, just have to put steroid cream on him twice a day for 2 weeks


And to top it all off, yet again my throat is all swollen and i eel i am coming down with a head cold, I am so sick of all this illness, i guess winter isn't around for much longer so guess the kids wont be sick for much longer

Progesterone

So i called a couple of chemists today regarding the type of progesterone that i need and the prices for it, most of them come in a box 100, so for the 100mg box of 100 it costs $100 and the price goes up for the higher ones and its not covered by medicare or the pension card, so i need to come up with $100 upfront,
I really cant afford that to be honest,

I know you cant put a price on your unborn child's life, though by the time you pay rent ETC and dont even have $10 spare a week, how am i meant to come up with at least $100 I dont have private health insurance let alone being able to cover the fortnightly payments, plus be on the waiting period for 2 months before you can claim and i need to start buying it 

GRR what to do!!!!!!! plus to top it off the OB isnt giving me the stitch this time :(