Need to Scream

So i have been keeping this in for a while and things have just been building up so i just need to let them out, things might not be in order or make much sense though i just need to vent

the past 3 weeks have gone so fast, plus have also felt like a nightmare, between having Jade, moving house and just the general stuff, i am completely exhausted, I haven't had time for anything or any one, the boys have suffered big time and it breaks my heart :(

Im up at the hospital every day, from any where from 3 hours to 9 hours a day, sitting beside my little girl, plus doing her cares, feeding her and just letting her know that i am there, and talking with doctors to find out the plan of attack etc, I know it is a mothers job though it is very tiring to be honest and very draining,

I have been trying my hardest with the boys, though they have suffered as i have just been so tired, and so busy they haven't gotten as much attention as they have liked or i have liked though i do try to spend a bit of time with them, though its pretty hard to when i am at the hospital all the time or i am home trying to clean up or cook, or look after 3 adults, and 2 kids plus myself

I still haven't unpacked the whole house yet, our garage is still packed full of boxes, and there is stuff that we need in them though i just don't have the energy to unpack them, let alone know where things are going to go,

I feel like i am the maid around this house, As i seem to be the one who does the cleaning, Washing, Cooking, etc, i know the other do help out, though probably not as much as i would like, i guess its just the small stuff, like after i cook it would be nice if someone else packed the dishwasher, and put it on, or someone else decided to do the washing for me, i don't know i guess i am just complaining about nothing there, though i just feel like everyone's maid

Daniel is out of the house more than what he is in it, between work and him going out to have a life, is starting to get really annoying, as he is basically never home and the kids hardly get a chance to see him, so then again it makes it harder on me, like last night he went out for a "boys night" he went to the movies and the pub with his best mate, like dont get me wrong i dont mind him spending time with his best mate, as they have been friends ever since they were young, and he is going through relationship problems so Daniel is there to help, though it would be nice if Daniel offered to take me out for a change or spend some time with me, though no its ok he can go out have a life and leave the kids with me know all to well just how tired that i am, I would love to be able to go out and just have some time to myself with some friends, though between Being up at the hospital for jade (as no one else will sit p there with her), looking after the kids (when they are not in daycare), cleaning the house, and cooking oh and expressing, there is just not enough hours in the day,

My day starts at 4.30 every morning if not earlier, and doesn't end until 10.30pm if not later, I know i am just bitching about mother hood and its just a part of life though i really need to get this out, and it is stressing me out and i am at the point that i am about to scream,

On another note, i really don't know why Daniel is giving relationship advice, maybe he should take some of his own, though his own marriage is on the rocks, so maybe he should try and fix that first before trying to fix someone elses,

Maybe its just my hormones, maybe its just because i am so tired, though everything is just eating up at me and i just needed to vent, sorry for such the long post though just needed to get it out

though i guess Such Is Life, hey